This semester has been a tease. After about 15 years of schooling, I was ready to jump on the real-world band wagon of earning a salary, paying bills and planning out my 401k...and part of me still is. But the other part of me wants to remain comfortable and protected in the arms of college.
Obviously torn, this semester hasn't done much to alleviate this inner conflict. On one side, I am working every day, attending happy hours, being social on the weekends, cooking dinner and carving pumpkins (we did this just last night so it is fresh in my mind...) - everything I would equate with a "grown-up" lifestyle. The other side: attending class two nights a week, writing papers, taking mid-terms (granted, it is a take-home test), going to mandatory programing and picking classes for my spring semester....well, all that reminds me I am still a student above everything else.
But I went on a job interview this week - like a job job interview...and suddenly reality hit. I am no longer in the comforting arms of college. I have to make decisions. Like life altering decisions. I have to begin my career. The career I have been working towards for (at least) the past four years. And no matter how much planning and thinking I do, there is still part of me that is jumping off the cliff without looking beforehand...and anyone who knows me, knows that is NOT how I operate.
Speaking of this week - apparently I pissed off some one in the Karma department off, because I swear I took one step forward and THREE steps back this week. I ran into people I didn't need to (ever!), had alcohol poured on me, lost my debit card, my car didn't start in Cleveland the morning of my interview (granted, it was frickin' 26 degrees - I wouldn't start either...), disagreements, misunderstandings, wishing I could be there for the people I love, out of the blue phone calls...I mean really. This all started a week ago yesterday - so I am hoping the worst is over and I can continue on with my life...knock on wood, throw salt behind your left shoulder, keep your fingers crossed and maybe, just maybe go ahead and sacrifice something (although, after taking a class about Peaceful Solutions to Violence - maybe sacrifice an article of clothing...my professor wouldn't like me calling for people to commit a violent act and he kinda controls my grade...).
So I guess, I am a big kid now - looking for a job and hoping to find a balance between what I need and what I want. Scary stuff, but thank goodness we have entered the holiday season - Christmas music makes everything better! OR Taylor Swift's new album. I LOVE IT - which doesn't surprise me, Tay-Tay got me through some rough times before, she just knows what's going on. If you get a chance, listen to "Back to December"...just sayin'.
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